Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Hahahahaha. It's not funny.

I wasted like £6 on junk food today, whyyyyyyy?
I'm going to hide it from myself.
I bought a huge bar of Galaxy; there's someone's present for Christmas.
I just had a bowl of pasta, tuna and loadsssss of sweetcorn.
Maybe 400 calories.
It scares me that I can't just reel off the calories of everything anymore.
My housemate is getting me to buy some junk food later so we can store it and just open it while Coronation Street is on this week.
I think I'll get a box of cereal and maybe some chocolate buttons so the damage of a week isn't insane as long as I only have one (or no) meals a day.

On a side note, I'm so scared to be back to doing this blog and being crazy with food, but in another way I feel so safe and warm now. Weird.

Monday, 6 December 2010

I'm scared to put this but...

Yesterday was the first day I felt like my old, overly happy, friendly self, for the first time in about 6 months.
Today was the first time in that long that I acted like my old self.
Tomorrow will be the first time in ages I start eating like my less fat self.
I just don't want to jinx it now it's written down.
Food is the one thing I can control.

Sunday, 5 December 2010


Since sort of accidentally coming back to this tonight, I just spent an hour or so going through some of your guys' recent posts.
I forgot how much I loved this community.
I also forgot how messed up and shaken I felt.
Counting calories, bingeing, starving, etc.
I can't lose focus on my education at the moment, so I'm just going to have one or two meals a day, of moderate size, because I've already planned my meals to use up all the food I have in the freezer...
But I'll be around.

Hello again.

I just realised I've just started to feel happy again, like, happy a lot of the time.
But the only thing that's missing is losing a few pounds before the holidays.
I've got a meal plan, but I don't think I'll be able to post on here much.
I only posted on here just now because I realised it's the only place I can write any of this :(