Monday, 28 June 2010

Hello guys.

Not done too great or too bad.
Not much to report back about, really.
Last exam tomorrow, going to be sososososo bad :'(
But yeah.
Still on the one meal a day shit.
Just thought I'd drop in.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Messed upp yesterday.

Had my meal, like 900cals.
Then cake.
Then a pasty.
I did walk a lotttt, but still.
It's not cool.
The day before I did good though; walked about 6 miles in the day :D
So today, working, no food til after work at like half 7...then I'm going to have a McDonalds veggie burger :)
Then that's it.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Whatttt is this?

I resisted a mcdonalds :D
Get in :)
Didn't revise at all today.
But don't care, because three people (one of whom was the girl who I'm no longer friends with who used to be like 50lbs lighter than me but now weighs me same (me --20lbs her +30lbs))
She had a large chicken deli meal.
I had a medium diet coke.
Feels good :D
Peace beauties.

Two exams down, one to go :D

Went alright, tbh.
I had LOADS to say, but it seems to have discipated :/
So, I'll just say, I'm going to revise 3-6, then see my boyfriend 6-9.
So I'm going to have my 'plat du jour' soon.
Feeling maybe jacket potato with beans and cheese?
I wish British keyboards had accented keys :/
But hey.
And then maybe soon ice cream, because it is HOT here, and I've just finished an exam :)
Not really too hungry though tbh.
Also, another great thing about this once a day thing, is the regular BMs.
Like, don't really want to elaborate, but I'm sure that helps a once-a-day other habit too.
Gross, but hey.

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Ahhhh, English O.o

About to run out of laptop battery :/
So, I'll eat today at like 3.
Not sure what though :)

Dehydration headache :(

Not eaten today yet.
About to eat some chips with beans and cheese.
Naughty, but part of the once a day is a bit of indulgence.
And maybe have a scoop of ice cream laters.
Hazza :)
Exam tomorrow :(
Not ready AT ALL.
On the upside, me my sister and brother are home alone for 3 days, yay :)
That means bumming around watching football all day.

So tired/over tired :l

I have that weird amount of tired where you're not sure if you're really tired or really awake.
Yesterday I had some Malteasers and Doritos.
But I did about an hours walking in some super heat so yeah :)
Hopefully not too much damage.
This morning I'm having a really sugary tea to kind of kick start my day a bit, I hope.
Then water through the day.
Then my meal at night can be like, some Quorn and veg, or something.
I think my mum's bought me some veggie meatballs and pasta to microwave :)
She's away til Friday so my dad's in charge, which is generally bad.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Yum :)

Lunch time.
400cals of jacket potato and tuna.
Then probably like 150cals of rice crispy bar.
Trying to do this once a day thing because I like the indulgence :)
So yeah.
Hopefully this will be all for today :D
I'm looking up things to do with the rest of my life :/
And I'm trying to revise.
Doing alright, I think :/

Monday, 21 June 2010

Nope, didn't manage it.

Had another 300ish cals.
Total 1100 :'(
Tomorrow, will be doing a wee bit of walking, like 250cals.
But got to be up early to revise, so I won't be able to not eat breakfast or lunch.
Hmm :(
Got to be up at half nine tomorrow, so I can be ready for ten and do 6 hours revision before I go out :/
So going to fail Sociology, and English, and not get into my first choice uni.
Never failed anything before.
But I've done 6 hours revision and that's enough.
I'm not taking anything else in :/
I'm so sad.


Despite the binge at the beginning, I've pulled it back.
Had 400cals at dinner making it a total of 800 for the day.
Not good considering I did no exercise.
But not bad considering I binged this morning.
Currently trying to resist the temptations of chocolate cake, and rice crispie bars and cream in the kitchen :/
Tomorrow, I'll try to just have one meal.
Meeting my friend at some point so I'll plan around that, but Idk what time yet, so can't plan too much just yet.

Really struggling to revise :l

Had a shitty weekend full of binging.
Started binging this morning (had two chocolate bars (350total))
Managed to stop myself from having a fourth binge day.
Taking control.
Waiting for dinner before I eat again.
Won't be doing much exercise between now and the 29th, because of sitting at home revising.
Made myself an iced mocha (50ish)
Time to sit and learn 300pages of sociology in 8 days.
And fail English.

Friday, 18 June 2010

I fucked up.

All week I've been doing relatively ok.
Ok enough to get rid of the initial food weight/bloat before real weight loss.
and yesterday I would have not eaten
Then yesterday my friend made me eat 4 full stuffed tortilla wraps. Like 1500cals at LEAST.
He literally was like 'You need to be fed'.
Spent £7.50 on food.
Then wouldn't talk to me til I'd eaten as much as him.
I know his heart's in the right place, but I feel like I've just ruined everything.
Oh wait, then I came home, flipped out and had a huge piece of cake.
Not like, us huge, like, normal people huge.
I still feel sick.
So I'm going to try and not eat until this meal tonight, when I'm going to the fucking Outback, the most calorific fucking place in the world.
So I'm just going to try and eat as little as possible.
And same trick as yesterday, wearing a slightly tight dress to remind myself I'm a fatty.

Let's see,,,

If I can not eat more for the rest of the day?
Had 500cals for breakfast/lunch...
So that'll do.
Doing a bit of walking laters :)
So yeah.
Should be alright.
Also, for a bit of thinspo, I'm wearing shorts that are a wee bit tight, and give me a muffin top, which i always, always, always avoid, because I HATE muffin tops.
But yeah, obvs I've got a jacket over the top, so noone else can see.
But I can feel it :)
So yeah, all day I'll have these shorts digging in to remind me to not eat.
And so is the plan :)

G'day :)

Haven't eaten anything yet.
I'm feeling having a sort of brunch type thing :)
Might not do any revision today :O
Je ne sais pas.
Yeah, might do beans on toast or sumt at like twelve, then not eat later?
Dunnahhhhhhhhh :)

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Get in :)

Cake wasn't vegetarian :D
So probably had like 900 for the day.
No exercise though :/

defeatist attitude :l

Just cba really.
With this.
I ate all my dinner, like, 400 cals
So I've already had like 779.
And I'll probably have cake.
I'm even already convincing myself it's fine to have whatever I want Saturday.
Which of course it's not.
We'll see.
I'm trying.
I think it's because I'm due on my period.
I always get like this when I'm due on.
Fuck you, femininity.

Why is food SUCH a fucking bitch?

So I ate half my lunch (150)
Then I had a Quorn sausage roll (48)
Then I just had hald a Quorn chicken sandwich (131)
And some peanuts (50?)
So total of what...379?
On the up side it's not tuna creamy pasta shit for dinner.
It's Quorn and chips.
So if I limit myself to like 5 chips.
And the Quorn, and some veg.
That'll be like 300 cals for dinner too.
And I'm not going to promise I won't be eating birthday cake too, because I'll probably cave to it (it's ny dadda's birthday today)
So yeah...
Hopefully like no more than 1000 for the day...
Specially since I've done NO exercise :/


It's lunchtime.
I got my Quorn mince, peas and onions.
It's so delicious :D
It would bebetter be spaghetti and loads of cheese.
But also that would make me fatter.
Which is pretty counter-productive, I'd say.
So I'm going to eat all this up.
Might even be too full for dinner (Y)
Then do lots of revision :D

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Time for some maths :)

So, I didn't do 1000 at the gym thing, there's no air con and I couldn't sweat or breathe or live, basically, so I did 600 in there, plus like a 20 minute walk before.
Plus my normal walkity-walks, that's like 900 burned today.
And an intake of 1400ish.
Wow, that sounds so shit.
So an intake-output of 500.
Meh, I need to stp making excuses and being complacent and DO something :)
Tomorrow, get up late again, je pense.
Have lunch of mince, onion, gravy powder, tomato paste and peas again, because it's YUMMY!
And say that's like 300.
NO CHEESE ON THE MINCE FATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I think it's tuna pasta bake for dinner :/
Which is about 600, I'd say.
So if I eat most but not all, because I won't be doing anyexercise because I'll be cooped up all day revising.
So 900 or so cals should be fine, well less because I won't eat all of either meal, because it's LOADS.
I'm so hungry :'(
I might eat something...
Je ne sais pas...
Not sure when I'm next getting to exercise either.
Not back at college til Monday.
Might jump on the WiiFit during my 15 minute breaks...
Do a few quick activites.
To try and fit some exercise it everyday :)
Yeahhhh :)

One exam down!

Two to go!!
Made a booboo, I've had 1300cals already today :/
Had 250 of cereal, then half of my coffe (150)
Then I had 900cals of Subway at lunch, out of pure excitement for finishing this fucking exam.
So yeah :D
I should be going to my boyfriends gym sometime soon, so I can burn 1000cals (400bike, 100row, 400bike,100row)
And then on average I burn 300 from walking to and from college, around town, around college etc, so yeah :)
Should be a nice even Input-Output=0 situation today :)
I hope so :D

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Yumyumyum, lunch :)

Just had 166cals of Quorn mince, then about 130 cals of cheese/froen veg.
So I'ma round up to 300 :)
Then my friend has made cakes and popcorn and chips and stuff for later, so I'm going to try to not exceed 500cals of that:)
Now time for the last bit of revision for an exam tomorrow.

Monday, 14 June 2010

Time to work out dinner cals...

2 Quorn sausage rolls (96)
10 Quorn sausages (160)
4 pieces Quorn chicken (30)
3 baby new potatoes (100)
Piece cheese flan (100)
Caesar salad (120)
Tomato pasta (150)

Total today is like, 956 maxmaxmax.
Not so bad I guess :)
Might go to my boyfriend's shed-gym tomorrow...

Revision break.....

Tomorrow I'm off college.
Get up sort of twelve ish...
Do 2 hours revision then have some lunch.
Maybe salad again except there's no lettuce left...
Maybe actually, Quorn mince, peas and onions and tomato paste...
That's like 300cals maxmaxmax.
Then I'm going to my friend's at 6 to chill and watch some movies the night before exams kick off.
So there'll be some chips or some kind of food there.
So if I properly try to restrict myself on that I think...
That'll be 700ish max, if I try hard.

Then Wednesday, is my exam.
So I'll have a big old bowl of Cheerios (250) before I head off to college (it's a morning exam)
Then I'm going to have a big coffee (300) from Starbucks.
Then I'm going straight from college to my boyfriends pseudo-gym in his shed where I'm aiming to burn 700cals because last time I did 500.
Then I'm going home for dinner, which should be a max500 deal.
So I will have eaten like 1050max, hopefully more like 1000, but burned 700 :)

I don't have college or anything, so it'll be a full day of English and Sociology revision.
So I'm going to get up late, then have lunch...probably salad because there should be some lettuce.
Then just dinner.

No college again, but I do have dentist, and I'm going ot my mum's school to teach French for an hour.
So I'll get up at like ten, and I'm not sure what to do food wise but I'll get back to that nearer the time.
My friend's coming round to watch the Glee finale so idk about dinner either...

Saturday is the problem of the week.
We're hitting up Outback Steakhouse for a family meal.
And, I've looked, all the fucking meals are basically the same fat and calorie wise.
So I might just eat small portions of what I want, i.e chips and chicken strips (the one time every two years or w.e. I deviate from vegetarianism).
And obvs no pudding.
And no cocktails, but I'm tee-total til the 1st September anyway, so s'all good.

I think that'll work out.
I'll be back later, just chillaxing from Sociology for a bit.

It's lunchtime :D

Got home from college early so I've made myself a huge tuna layered salad with lots of lettuce, cucumber onion and tuna.
I might go get some carrot in a sec...
I forgot about carrot...
And like 1.5litres of Diet Lemonade :)
Then I've got time to watch The City, and Project Catwalk.

Then for dinner I'm really hoping it's salad because I can eat quite a lot of that buffet stuff for 500/600 cals :)
Peace :)

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Good morning (L)

Food wise will be:
Tuna salad (200)
Whatever is for dinner (500max)

I'm going to leave some of my carbs at dinner, or, if it's a buffet salad thing that my mum sometimes does, have NO boiled potatoes, and fill up on salad, and really count up my calories for other stuff...

Revision wise (because I have to do this now or I won't revise ever):
Get in at 2.15 latest.
Lunch, TV etc.
3pm - One hour of New Wave revision.
4-4.15 - Break
415-515 Sociology Revision
515-530 Break
530-630 Emotional Response Revision
630-645 Break
645-745 Sociology Revision
745-8 Break
8-9 Fight Club Revision
9 Glee Finale :D
10 Bed :)

One of the breaks to be replaced by dinner :)

Oh, TV thinspiration :)

Today alone I've watched Fat Families and Fat Hospital.
Yum :/
Tomorrow, when I get home early, I might search out and series link all these fat people programs to watch whenever I'm hungry.

Yeah today :)

I had like 1,000 cals today.
Mainly like, one meal :)
505 - panini
180 - crisps
bout 200 - cake thing.
Then half a jacket potato skin and some salad stolen from my brother's dinner :)
So around 1000 I'd say.

It feels good to have one day where I haven't fucked up.
It's made me feel stronger and ready to kick some ass before my holiday/london shopping trip :D
Tomorrow, no breakfast.
Um, tuna salad, with 200cals tuna, then a shitton of veggies, like lettuce, sweetcorn, cucumber. Maybe some onion :)
Then LOTS of revision.
Then dinner, max 500.
Max 800cals for the day...

Today WILL be good!

I'm fed the fuck up of fucking up.
I'm fed up of all fucking men being just like eachother.
I'm fed up of getting upset of shit that doesn't matter to them.
I'm fed up of people being whiny little bitches.
I'm fed up of trying to tread on eggshells.
I'm fed up of being fat.
So now, it's time to get skinny.

Soup or salad for lunch, depending on where we eat.
Then escalope and veg for dinner (195)

Friday, 11 June 2010


had like 1100 cals today.
and done NO exercise except like 45mins of sex...
My bad...
Bowl of cereal (200)
Some kind of food for my break. No idea what, I have no money...
Might make myself a sandwich or something :)
Yeahhhh :)


I wasn't feeling AT ALL determined today, but now I am, for some reason :)
I'm having 300cals of Quorn scotch eggs for lunch.
Then should be burning at least 500cals at Ben's shed-gym.
And I'm going to make some rules tostick to
Because I did SO bad yesterday, so now I'm going to put some rules in place:
No more spending your own money on food. Only eat things from the kitchen. (I spent £10 on binge food yesterday :/)
Exercise twice a week at the shed-gym.
One portion of carbs a day max.

There were some more but I've forgotten :/

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Cheerios and frappaccinos.

Is what I'vve had today :)
Then some kind of dinner.
Hopefully not pasta or pizza.
But probably knowing my mother.
I don'tthink I'm drinking enough water.
I need to drink more.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010


Still feel kinda like shit tbh :/
But, I'm going to push through, ignore all the things which are making me sad.
Which are:
So, no eating, no texting men before they text me, and lots of revision :)
Just had a bowl of cheerios (150)
Then nothing til dinner, I think, max 500.
I have college/revision/seeing boyfriend in between :)
So should be ok :D

I feel like shit.

I'm just so upset.
And Idon't really know why.
I'm never sad, like ever.
I hope I'm just tired :/
And today, I was hanging out with this guy I kind of think I may like (I know I have a boyfriend, 'nother story for another day...)
And he's on like an epic dose of anti depressants.
And he was in SUCH a horrible mood.
And it just reminded me why my last relationship broke up; because I was with this lovely lovely guy who just couldn't handle his depression, and his bad days were bad bad.
And it reminded me this would be the same.
I hate knowing there's nothing I can do to help.
And I hate being able to empathise.
And I just want to cry.

Oh, yesterday. Damndamndamn.

So bad.
So today I'm having one meal and that's it.
Consisting of (quite badly)
Tuna salad roll.
Then that's all :)

Sunday, 6 June 2010

big ass bowl of cereal.

like 300.
then later i'll slowly chew pizza.
ok :)

Apparently not?

I'm probs getting pizza and wine with a friend tomorrow :/
So yeah.
Badtimes :/
But that means cereal still to kick up the metabolism.
Then eating slowwwwwwwly :)

Just spent my night

Perusing fashion blogs...
Cereal, cheerios. (200ish) Must remember to weigh them out :D
Lunch/dinner at like 2.30, three Linda McCartney meat free sausages (300) and some beans (200ish).
Total of 700, something like that. Depends on what's in the cupboard.
Plus I'll be left with one lonely sausage :/

Summary of the day.

302 for breakfast.
Then lunch would have been 247 for salad BUT my mumma decided to go to this sandwich and muffin place :/
So I had a tuna baguette (400)
And half a muffin (200)
Then for dinner I had my Quorn turkey and veg.
Total of?
Kinda shit tbh :/
Could have been so much better.
Oh well.
Just need to keep away from puddings tonight :)

Yum yum yum yum.

Two grilled Linda McCartney meat free sausages (202)
One piece of toast (100)
Total 302.
For breakfast.
A bit shit, but there wasn't any Quorn sausages :/
But it tastes good.
Then about another 600cals over the rest of the day :)
Je pense.
So total of like 900.
With lots of protein, not much fat, and not much carbs.
Just how it should be :)

Saturday, 5 June 2010


Trying not to binge.
I've already eaten a lot.
Probably like 1400cals.
Which considering how much work/sex I've done today isn't so bad.
But still not good.
Tomorrow, don't know what to have for breakfast :/
Might get up abit early and grill two Quorn sausages and have them in a piece of toast.
Then have a mozarella salad for lunch from work.
Like (400)?
Then have a Quorn escalope and veg for dinner.
So like 800/900 for the day?
I need to have like 3 meals a day again.
I do so much better when I do that, less binging/snacking at work...


Just had cereal, like 300cals.
Then later after work I'll have a veggie burger from McDonald's later. Probably like 400cals tops.
My eyesight's gone really weird :/
Oh dear.
And it's a really really nice day today, and I've got to go to work all afternoon :(

Friday, 4 June 2010

My laptop is quite literally falling apart.

The screen is half off :/
Hmm :(
Bowl of cereal or something when I get up.
I think it's Nesquik or Cheerios...
Then a McD's veggie burger for dinner after work.
No chips, Kthnxplz.
Total of mabes 700?


Luckily I didn't top up on sugar because later I had a Nando's meal :/
Also, about to have a massive potentially break up argument with my boyfriend.
So I need to get skinnier to make him jealous.
Yeah, I'ma bitch.
So much I want to put on here about my boyfriend but I'm scared he'll find this blog.
I don't know.


Is a tattoo day.
So I'vehad 600cals of toast, Quorn sausages and beans.
Then I'm going to have something sugary in a bit, maybe to top it out to 900/1000
Then nothing for the rest of the day again.

Got so smashed last night because I didn't eat after twelve :/
But on the upside, it took less alcohol cals to get drunk.
So win/win.


Thursday, 3 June 2010

Passing up revision to look at thinspo...

Is probably a good waste of time?
Rather be skinny than learned?
Lookbook and The Fashion Spot's Star Style will keep me going, I hope :D

Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew.

The last four days I've had way too much fun.
And way too much food.
So today:
Lunch (about 400)
No dinner :)
That's it :)