Monday, 22 March 2010

New reason to do it.

Fully do it.
No excuses now.
I need my boyfriend, or possibly ex-boyfriend soon, to find me attractive.
Today was just terrible.
He punched me and pinched me, and said some really terrible, hurtful things, then turned it all on me, telling me he wanted to dump me because I wasn't making an effort.
I don't know what to say or do anymore.
I want to feel good about myself.
And this is how.
So, tomorrow:
Cereal 178.
Dinner, max 500.
I NEED to do this.
For myself, the sake of my relationship, everything.
I just need some confidence.

1 comment:

  1. I know it's none of my business and it's your life but please please leave this guy. You said before that he called you fat? This isn't the kind of person that you want in your life. That isn't the kind of thing that people who love you unconditionally say or think. How are you supposed to feel good about yourself when the person that is supposed to love you treats you this way? Do you think things will change if you change yourself? The problem is him, not you. He is emotionally (and physically) abusing you, and that won't change no matter what you do to change yourself. Sorry if I'm being really patronising but I work with victims of domestic violence and it is really heartbreaking to witness women beating themselves up because of what an abusive guy is making them feel about themselves. You are better than this creep. He doesn't deserve you. The first step you can take in feeling good about yourself is to get this toxic person out of your life.

    I'm really sorry if this offends you in any way, it really isn't meant to be offensive to you and I know obviously I don't know anything about your relationship and there's probably lots of complications and things but...bottom line: You do not deserve to be abused and what you're describing is classed as abuse.

    Sorry this is all said via the cold, impersonal medium of the internet. Sending you warmth, Elle x