Tuesday 27 April 2010

Total for the day/plan for tomorrow/surprisingly frustrated.

Today I had:
Cereal - 178
Sandwich - 297
Pasta - 200
Crisps - 95
Cereal bar - 160

Total: 930
Ouch.
I could have done much better, and I think that's why I feel so frustrated today :/
I just want to cry and eat, and feel guilty and hate myself and I don't know why :/
I just want this all to happen.
And it's really getting me down.
I need to do some work too, there's so much stress on this week for coursework.
And then it's shows and acting and shit
Then it's exams
Then worrying about results.
I don't know.
I'm really frightened about the future now...it's like I need to be a grown up and there's too much pressure.
And there's pressure to be thin.
And I need to sort it all out.
I just feel like I'm not being responsible enough and taking control and I need to.
People expect too much of me, including myself.
I need to impress myself, and I know I can.
It can't be too hard, right?
Maybe along with food plans I'll make work plans, and you guys can ignore that bit?
No, maybe not.
So, food plan.

Tomorrow:
I'm busy 9.10am til about 9pm so not eating shouldn't be too hard, although, again, there's loads of food around at writing class and rehearsals are in a coffee shop :/
Maybe I'll leave all my money at home.
Blahhhhh, I need a tough love speech, or a kick in the bum or something.
Think thin guys.
Peace.

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