Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Total for the day/plan for tomorrow/surprisingly frustrated.

Today I had:
Cereal - 178
Sandwich - 297
Pasta - 200
Crisps - 95
Cereal bar - 160

Total: 930
I could have done much better, and I think that's why I feel so frustrated today :/
I just want to cry and eat, and feel guilty and hate myself and I don't know why :/
I just want this all to happen.
And it's really getting me down.
I need to do some work too, there's so much stress on this week for coursework.
And then it's shows and acting and shit
Then it's exams
Then worrying about results.
I don't know.
I'm really frightened about the future now...it's like I need to be a grown up and there's too much pressure.
And there's pressure to be thin.
And I need to sort it all out.
I just feel like I'm not being responsible enough and taking control and I need to.
People expect too much of me, including myself.
I need to impress myself, and I know I can.
It can't be too hard, right?
Maybe along with food plans I'll make work plans, and you guys can ignore that bit?
No, maybe not.
So, food plan.

I'm busy 9.10am til about 9pm so not eating shouldn't be too hard, although, again, there's loads of food around at writing class and rehearsals are in a coffee shop :/
Maybe I'll leave all my money at home.
Blahhhhh, I need a tough love speech, or a kick in the bum or something.
Think thin guys.

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